Modesty has seen times change in big ways over the last century or so. Some may think it is out-dated. Some may think it is frumpy. For many, modesty seems to be a foreign concept for both body and mind. It sometimes seems normal to be disrespectful to authority, open about our bodies in inappropriate and pornographic ways, and even jokingly loud and crude. But, as the scriptures say, God "is the same yesterday, today, and forever." It seems to me lately that many people have been using the announcement of 1978 that all worthy males could receive the Priesthood to justify the discounting of prophetic counsel, thinking that if we petition certain social issues and protest enough then the doctrines of the church may eventually change. While I do not rule out the idea that church policy may change, I know with certainty that the doctrine never will. Modesty is a principle of the gospel that enables us to become disciples of Christ. Modesty is to be expected of both men and women in deed and thought and the expectation of God for every person to be in charge of their own purity will always stand.
Many seem to have taken offense at a recent talk given by one church leader, Elaine Dalton given on the power of modesty in young women(see http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-young-women-meeting/2013/03/be-not-moved?lang=eng&query=be+not+moved)
One quote from this talk states: "Young women, make sure your relationships with others are such that 40 years from now, you will not be embarrassed. No amount of peer pressure, no acceptance, no popularity is worth a compromise. Your influence on the young men will help them remain worthy of their priesthood power, of temple covenants, and of serving a mission. And who knows? Forty years from now, you may even have one of them walk up to you, there in your high school auditorium, and thank you for helping him remain worthy to fulfill his priesthood duty to serve an honorable mission. And who knows? You may even receive a letter from one of those young men’s wives, thanking you for the influence you had on her husband and their future family clear back in your high school days. Your choices matter. Your choices now not only affect you, but they also affect others. They are of eternal significance. Be not moved!"
This quote and idea of helping young men mentions nothing specifically about modestly and precedes her paragraph about modesty as a separate idea.
Almost every blog or article I have read criticizing this talk and the doctrine have seemingly misunderstood the intended message. Most blogs have quoted this section in regards to modesty. Her guidance about modesty follows in another sub-heading of the talk as another example of standing fast in our values. In the following paragraph about modesty, no mention of responsibility over controlling the thoughts of males is ever mentioned--only blessings that will come to our OWN lives from living modestly. A direct quote follows:
"Second, be not moved in your desire and commitment to remain virtuous and sexually pure. Cherish virtue. Your personal purity is one of your greatest sources of power. When you came to the earth, you were given the precious gift of a body. Your body is the instrument of your mind and a divine gift with which you exercise your agency. This is a gift that Satan was denied, and thus he directs nearly all of his attacks on your body. He wants you to disdain, misuse, and abuse your body. Immodesty, pornography, immorality, tattoos and piercings, drug abuse, and addictions of all kinds are all efforts to take possession of this precious gift—your body—and to make it difficult for you to exercise your agency. Paul asks, “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?”
Even if the two thoughts had been connected and Elaine Dalton explicitly stated that women should dress modestly to help men have pure thoughts, the key word is HELP. She does say that we can have a good influence over men so that they may later thank us for helping them remain pure. It is not unreasonable to think that one way we can help men remain pure is to dress modestly. However, she never says that "helping" men by dressing modestly absolves them entirely from any responsibility over their thoughts or actions.
If I had a friend that I cared deeply about who had struggled his or her whole life with being overweight and finally came up with the resolve to make a plan to eat healthy food and lose excess weight, I would want to support them in any way I could. In the process of supporting them, would I invite them over and eat a heaping bowl of ice cream with cookies and gooey caramel drizzled on top? No! If I chose to eat a decadent dessert in front of them and they decided to join me in enjoying dessert would it absolve them from all responsibility and the consequences of such a choice? No! They would still have to work out their own way to find new resolve and burn those empty calories they maybe shouldn't have consumed. We cannot control their thoughts or their choices, but we can certainly make it easier for them to stick to their resolve and their goals by refraining from eating ice cream in front of them. Now, you may find flaws in this comparison, but the principle is the same: we can all (males and females alike) make small but impacting choices along the path of life to help ourselves and others along our path to personal purity. Living the gospel of Jesus Christ in this world is about love. Loving ourselves and loving others. Truly loving ourselves and others means respecting our bodies as beautiful creations of God rather than things to be "used" for sexual gratification. Justice keeps track of every impure thought that occurs (with or without intention of the wearer of immodest clothing and/or the thinker of the thought) and mercy shows us that God and His Son, Jesus Christ understand our hearts--maybe we don't realize our shirt hung open when we bent over, maybe a man accidentally looked and couldn't get it out of his head, maybe we just need mercy to fill in the gaps of misunderstanding if we heard the words of an inspired leader and felt they were mean-hearted or judgmental (because I cannot believe they were). Every time I hear the words of church leaders or pray to my Heavenly Father I feel so deeply of their love for every person on this Earth--whether they are ready to hear it or not. EVERY SINGLE TIME a prophet of God or a leader of His church speaks on any topic they are trying to lead each of us to a path of peace and happiness. I hope that no one ever feels rebuked in hatred, but rather that they are lovingly guided toward goodness. I pray that we may all be more modest in our dress, thoughts, and hearts because modesty is more than just what we put on our bodies--it is a respect and reverence for things that are holy. And may we each resolve to try a little harder to help ourselves and others along our path to purity and to have a deeper respect for all things holy.
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